Earphones: the universal sign for LEAVE ME ALONE!

If seated next to an overly verbose chatterbox, I find plugging in your earphones to be a polite way of saying: "Excuse me pal, could you please shut the fuck up?!"

Lately though, my colleague and tormentor seems to have deciphered my ears full of phones as a chance to physically touch me! As this fumbling idiot paws at me with his sweaty grubby appendages, I begrudgingly remove my solace of sound to see what the hell this mistake wants. Often, he wants nothing more than to ask a REALLY retarded question "um, what's the best medicine for a runny nose?" Do you see a freakin STETHOSCOPE dangling around my neck moron?!
Or my favorite "heheh, come look at this picture!"

Since slipping a few drops of cyanide into his coffee will hold dire consequences for me in the long run, it seems that I must unfortunately suffer silently through this ingrate's menial existence. For the moment, I'll have to contend with dosing him with antihistamines whenever he feels "something" and watch in delight as his energy is slowly and deliberately sapped into oblivion. Aaah, a few moments of peace!

Office Rant

Wasting time infuriates me! I hate speaking to people who, instead of asking a direct question, feel they need to break down their entire history to get to something as simple as "where can I find these files?"

Apart from these insipid individuals, what really irks me is having to sit like a zombie at my office desk, waiting for my shift to end. If, by some inconceivable miracle, you are able to finish your tasks hours before the designated closing hour, why should you remain seated at your desk, slowly counting the death of precious minutes that you will never get back again?

I highly respect managers who recognise the true value of time, by compensating employees for over-time and understanding that on some rare occasions, we can leave early! I am currently seated with 6 employees who have nothing to accomplish! One is cleaning his nails, another is watching YouTube videos, yet another is actually watching a TV series and so on.

And here I slowly rot, waiting for another useless 180 minutes to go by before I can escape back into the real world. If you ask me, the world would be a much better place if we were not all constrained by useless rules such as "office hours"!

Can English Copywriters come from the Middle East?

Having worked as a freelance copywriter for several years, it still astounds me when I meet certain Western clients who are suspicious of my writing abilities due to my Lebanese descent.

The worst is when, upon meeting me in person, they ask: "So, where are you from?" How can my nationality possibly matter?! In any case, is there still so much ignorance rampant so as to even consider that English is only properly taught in Western nations?

Born in Beirut, I was enrolled in American schools for my entire scholastic training which rendered English as my mother tongue. I learnt Arabic as a second language when I turned 6.

Ultimately, my experience with said clients has been frustrating, to say the least. If any fellow writers out there have faced similar discrimination, I would advise them to shrug it off and trust in their own abilities. The idea that only certain nationalities are capable or producing English copy is preposterous and should be quelled immediately! After all, everyone knows I speak London very best!!!